Bride and Cailleach: Drinking from the Well of Youth

Bride and Cailleach: Drinking from the Well of Youth

   As it’s almost Imbolc the story of Bride and Cailleach has been on my mind the last few days.  Cailleach and Bride’s interactions with mythology are all about transformation. Cailleach is arguably one of the most ancient Goddesses of the Celts. In fact she may even be a pre-Celtic Goddess, possibly being an earth Goddess of the original inhabitants of Ireland, prior to their integration with the invading Celtic tribes. She is usually described as an old woman with white hair and blue skin and at times is thought to be a giantess, dropping boulders out of her apron as she walked along. She was associated with Slieve na Calliagh, a peak of jagged rocks situated in a low range of hills in Ireland, which is made up of jagged rocks, which may be why she was sometime said to have very sharp teeth.

   Cailleach is best known as a Goddess of cold, winter, and darkness. She was also a Goddess of storms and during the winter months she was said to ride through the air on the back of a wolf, bringing snow and ice to the world below. According to my Irish grandmother thunder is really the Cailleach sneezing! She also had a magick wand that she used to strike away any hints of green on the winter landscape.

   As the winter hag Cailleach kept spring at bay, usually by keeping Bride, who represented spring hidden away. In Scotland it was believed that each year Cailleach held Bride captive in a cave. Unfortunately for Cailleach her son falls in love with Bride and together they flee the cave. Enraged Cailleach chases the lovers, conjuring up storms in her wake, but with the release of Bride spring soon overtake winter despite Cailleach’s best efforts. In other versions Cailleach turns to stone at the first signs of spring, and Bride escapes bringing with her renewed fertility and warmth to the world. But at Samhain Cailleach awakes again and captures Bride and once more holds her captive through the winter. In another version Cailleach travels to a magickal isle (sometimes said to be the Isle of Skye) where there is a miraculous Well of Youth. On Imbolc she drinks from the well and transforms into Bride.

   There are so many layers to this simple story. On one hand it is a seasonal myth. In other cultures many Goddesses connected to the sun are often hidden away in caves during the winter and return to the world with spring, Bride’s imprisonment in the cave mirrors this. But we can also see this struggle between the hag and maiden, winter and spring within ourselves. At times we keep our inner fire banked, we burry our creativity, our passion our hope deep within, like Bride in her cave. And like Cailleach sometimes we are afraid to let that part of ourselves out. We resist change.

   During this time of year I think about what I have been keeping locked away within me. Have I banked my inner fires? Have I been afraid to welcome change in my life? And I think of the winter hag taking a drink from that sacred well, willingly accepting change, knowing soon she will be the Goddess of spring.

Drinking from the Well of Transformation:

   Brew a cup of your favorite tea or if you prefer use wine. Take the cup to your sacred space. Place two candles on your altar, one of each side. Blue for Cailleach and a red candle for Bride. Light the candles and place your cup in-between the two candles on the altar.

   Take a few minutes to ground and center. See yourself in a small boat. The boat glides soundlessly across the waves, and a cold winter wind blows across you. Soon your boat glides up to the isle’s shore and you step onto the green earth. Shaded by a grove of trees you see an old stone well. The well waters shine with their own light, and you know you have found the Well of Youth. Take a few minutes to consider what kind of transformation you wish to bring into your life. Are their old habits that you need to shed, new ventures you wish to start? When you are ready you dip your hands into the water and drink.

   When you are ready take the cup in your hands and hold it over the altar, saying:

Cailleach, blue hag of winter,

Churning storms and chaos in your wake,

Lady of thunder, winter, and cold,

Drink now from the sacred well,

Bring transformation,

And let me change as you do each year

   Hold your hands over the cup. Visualize a brilliant white light filling the cup, the light of Cailleach and Bride, the light of new beginnings and transformation. Then take a sip of your magickal brew. Feel the blessings of Cailleach and Bride filling you, revitalizing you, as the Goddess’ energies renew and awaken the earth each spring. When you are ready say:

Like Cailleach I transform,

I drink from the sacred well,

The darkness within transformed to new light,

I shine like Bride of the green mantle,

Renewed and transformed by the Goddess!

The Myth of Macha

The Myth of Macha

                                             

   Some prose about the Goddess Macha who cursed the men of Ulster.....


    The dappled mare beside me stomps the ground impatiently just as the child within my womb begins to kick. She eyes me wearily, perhaps knowing better than the men who gather around us what I am. Another kick from the life within me, the mare dances nervously in place kicking up clumps of packed earth with her hooves, and I run a hand over my swollen stomach. Although I know it is pointless I call out to the crowd again. It is too close to my time, will they not wait till after I have brought this tiny life into the world to test my husband’s foolish bragging? But my plea is met with laughter. I look at the bearded faces around me, did a mother not bare each of them? How can they listen with such deaf ears and stony hearts to my pleas? I place a protective hand on my belly again, and think that if this had been a crowd of women I would not be answered with gears. Little do they know this was never about the race, the race is already won.
    My pleas unanswered, the signal is given and the horses run free. I begin slowly, following behind them on the track. Their hooves pound against the earth, like distant thunder, like the beat of the drums within the Sidhe hills. I concentrate on the sound, and as I run I change. What the men see I do not know. Do they see the pale woman with hair the color of flame? Or do they see the roan mare? Perhaps both? When I run I am free, the weights of the world disappear as if a great yoke has been caste off my shoulders. There is nothing I cannot outrun. I am as eager as that dappled mare to challenge the wind, and so I run, and run, and run. The crowd blurs around me, a few shout in disbelief as I easily pass the king’s chariot. This was not what they expected. They were so certain these beasts where the swiftest that ever lived. Perhaps they are, but at this moment I am the Great Mare, I am the primal essence of every horse that ever was, and there is nothing that I cannot outrun, nothing I cannot overcome. But this magick has a price, and I will have to pay it all too soon.
    When I cross the finish line I collapse, no longer the Great Mare but a woman in the final stages of labor. The crowd circles around me. These men of sword and spear, who spill blood and glory in death, I wonder, do they know the value of life? They are so close, life and death, both forged in blood and pain, whether it be the pangs of labor or the sting of a blade. Transitions are never easy, whether we are coming into this world or leaving it behind. They look at me in astonishment, unsure of what to do or say. They should have waited as I had asked. Did I not deserve that much mercy? Do they think my husband’s boast was so bold now? I think not, but it was never about the boast, or the race. I knew from the very moment they arrived at my doorstep that I would win. It was about the mercy of men. It was about honoring the women who bore them, and the women who will bare their own children, and their children’s children.
    I feel myself fading as I hear my child cry out. No, as my children cry out. Twins. Despite the pain I smile. Someone places them in my arms, a tiny mercy, although it is too little too late. I look into my children’s faces and both a fierce love and rage sparks within my broken body. I feel the blood pouring from me. It comes too quickly. The womb that brought life into the world will soon end mine, but there is still some magick left in me, and when I speak it is not as a dying woman but as a Goddess.
    Some will call it a curse. But in my mind it is a blessing. For nine generations, in the hour of their greatest need, the bearded men of Ulster will know the pangs of a woman in childbed. If men will take life and throw it away so carelessly on idle words they will know the pain, the sacrifice it took to bring life into the world. Perhaps then they will not throw is away so carelessly.
    With the last word of my spell my human body gives way. Once more I am myself, shining spirit, immortal fay, Goddess. My sisters never understood my desire to take on mortal flesh for a time, they both warned it would only cause me pain. And it has, but it has also brought two new lives into the world. Two flames that will shine brightly, if only for a little while.
    The crowd stands in stunned silence around my discarded mortal frame. As I watch my spirit begins to take on a familiar shape, sleek wings, and black glossy feathers like a cloak of midnight. No one sees the crow now perched on one of the raceway’s posts. As I fly away I wonder if they see my curse for what it truly is.               

frequent questions

Frequently Asked Questions of a Traveling Priestess

   In doing workshops and other events there tends to be a few questions that I am always asked.  They are all great questions and have led to some great conversations so I thought I would share them on the blog for those who haven’t seen me speak or gone to one of my workshops.  And if anyone else can think of any good questions feel free to ask here!

Morrigan and Morgan Le Fay are they the same?

   This is perhaps the most popular one.  This is my own opinion on the subject so if you feel differently there is nothing wrong with that!  Are they identical, one and the same- No.  Do I see a connection between the two- Yes.  When I work with the Irish Morrigan/Morrigu, I am working with the Morrigan.  When I work with Morgan Le Fay, I am working with Morgan Le Fay.  Their energies feel different to me.  But when we look to mythology I do see a connection, or perhaps the correct word would be evolution, between the two.  The etymology of their names are dramatically different, Morgan Le Fay comes to us from Welsh mythology and Morrigan from the Irish lore.  But like other gods like the Irish Lugh, who has a counter part in the Welsh lore as Lleu Llaw Gyffes, much of the ideas and deities that the Irish celebrated migrated to other regions.  I see many connections between the Welsh Modron and the Morrigan.  Like Lugh and Lleu they are not quite the same but the connection is still there.  Modron eventually evolved into Morgan Le Fay, both having the same husband and having many parallels within their stories. (I could write a whole blog about those connections so you can reference by book for more details)    For me the connection is there. I work with them separately but with that evolution in mind.  I take a similar approach with Lugh and Lleu, not the same but the connection is there.   


Should we label the gods?  Why do you consider the Morrigan a Dark Goddess?

   When I think of the Morrigan I think of her just as the Morrigan.  Words like Mother come to mind- for she is my mother, and has become an inseparable part of me.  She is so many many things.  She embodies so many powerful lessons and guises.  It’s not hard to understand why she was seen as a shape-shifter, she doesn’t really like to be pinned down to one thing for very long.  But if I have to put a label on her Dark Goddess would be it.  Of course this all depends on what you consider “dark” to mean.  For me “dark” deities are gods that embody transformation, liminal deities, gods that deal with death, and are connected to the underworld.  Dark for me conjures up images of dark rich soil, fed by the decay of other life, yet nurtures the seed and new budding life.  It reminds me that I can never create without destroying.  These god challenge us, they lead us to transformation which is at its core a process of destruction to create anew.  They also embody the things we fear, which are usually the things we need to look at the most. 
   I don’t think that the Celts would have seen her as a dark goddess, they were closer and more at peace with the things she teaches, where we in modern times are not.  Who knows maybe in a hundred years Aphrodite will be a dark goddess to the pagans of the future.  The label of dark goddess is a starting point.  Just like saying Artemis is a moon goddess is just a starting point for her mysteries.  This of course brings up the idea of whether or not we should label the gods.  As humans we give things labels in an attempt to understand them, and wrap our heads around ideas and concepts.  It’s impossible to not try to categorize the gods, and that can be both a good and bad thing.  When we pigeon hole a deity and see only the label and fail to see what that deity is truly saying to us or embodies then it becomes a crutch and does not serve us spiritually.  It is something we have to remind ourselves not to do when working with any deity.  The Morrigan is a very well rounded figure, there is a lot to her personality and mysteries.  I call her a dark goddess based on my own definition of what a “dark” deity is, but she is far more than just that, just like any deity.     

Working with Dark dieties

Working with Dark Deities: Or Harm Ye None, and Other Lies I’ve Been Told

Working with Dark Deities:

Or Harm Ye None, and Other Lies I’ve Been Told

 

  Firstly I will say that the concept of Dark Gods is a modern one.  Yes I use the term, because it’s the best descriptions I have at the moment for the gods that challenge us, force us to transform, and sometimes seriously fuck up our lives for our own good.  Trust me as painful as having some things in our lives torn down is, sometime it really is for our own good.  Because it’s human nature to hold onto things for too long.  To cling to the things we know even if they are poisonous to our very being.  For the most part we don’t like change.  And the unknown terrifies us, because there are no guarantees.  And there are no guarantees when we meet dark and dangerous gods, who we will be at the end of our journey through the dark.

   There are pitfalls and challenges to working with any deity, and there seems to be a consistent pattern to the challenges many of us run into when working with dark gods.  And I think some of these arise because of how we are taught to approach the gods and how we have been taught to view change.

   Quite a lot of people find Paganism out of a desire to create real and meaningful change in their lives.  The idea of casting spells, connecting to a powerful deity and reshaping our lives into something better than it is can be a tantalizing thought.  If I do just the right spell, say just the right chant I can land the job of my dreams, find love, have a happy and content life.  Magick can do that. The Gods can do that.  But like any genie worth his salt, they will remind you that wishing for things and more importantly manifesting them isn't as simple as you’d like them to be. What we want is the Emril Lasgase approach to magick.  BAM, and you got instant change!  But it doesn’t work that way.  There is always, always a price.  And we don’t like the idea of magick or working with the Gods having a price.  But trust me it does.  Real magick, real devotion and dedication to deity, has a cost.  And its completely worth paying.   

   When I am asked about my work with the Morrigan one of the questions I am often asked is how exactly to go about causing life changing transformation in one’s life……without causing any harm.  The answer is simple, and completely not what the person wants to hear, it’s impossible.  Because Harm None doesn’t work.  When we are “baby Pagans” we buy into the idea that transformation can be as easy as burning a candle and calling on the right kind of God that we find off a list of correspondences on the internet.  Change is a beautiful pain free process, like a caterpillar changing into a beautiful butterfly.  Love and light.  Harm ye none. These are all the lies those new to Paganism are fed, and the old hats fall victim too.  So for the record, change sucks.  It hurts.  It’s painful.  And worst of all there are no guarantees where you will end up when you start down the path of true change, spiritual or otherwise, in your life. 

     In Paganism at large we get caught up in the idea of Harm Ye None, in the idea that to be a Witch you have to work in a Love and Light paradigm.  But it doesn’t work, it isn't realistic.  And not subscribing to these ideas doesn’t make you immoral or a bad person.  There are many words I use to describe myself.  Pagan: I’m a polytheist and see the Gods as very real beings with personalities and individual likes and dislikes. Priestess: I am dedicated to the Morrigan and my devotion to Her influences and drives much of my work and spiritual practice.  And I am a Witch, but I don’t buy into Harm Ye None.  Don’t get me wrong it’s a pretty thought.  But just by living breathing we effect the rest of the world, sometimes in a good creative way and sometimes in a destructive way.  Whether you ate steak last night or the vegetarian special you destroyed something to fuel your continued existence. The nature that Pagans worship is brutal and deadly at times.  Lions eat zebras, and I have no problem as seeing his brutal truth as being balanced and having a kind of beauty.  Nothing comes for free, especially in magick.  And when we get caught up in the idea that we can do magick without cost, create change without cost, we are either left wondering why our magick didn’t work or why our world is suddenly turning into a world of shit.  By “cost” I mean deep and powerful magick, or deep and powerful transformation, requires work.  You don’t have to offer grand sacrifice or your first born child to the Gods, but the things you want to bring into your life may cost you some tears and some honest soul searching.  Doing the work is a kind of offering to the Gods.  Morgan Daimler puts it quite succinctly:

  “There is risk with all powerful magic, and the bigger and more bad-ass the better the chance that someone’s gonna get hurt during the process, and that means the person doing it and that means the people effected by it.  When you’re trying to shift years worth of entropy and BS out of your life you’re going to bleed in the process and your going to spill blood as well.  Some healing cant begin without first opening wounds, and some freedom cant be gained without first cutting away that which holds us back, even if it means cutting out a part of ourselves we don’t want to let go of.  You cant uproot a tree and replant it without breaking the roots and letting the sap run, after all.  If you seek to do such a thing without harm you have failed before you’ve begun.”

   Dark deities will help you through the process of change, they will give you exactly what you asked for but at the same time they expect you to earn it.  They will sit there tapping their feet , arms folded over, until you get the point.  And that requires a certain amount of trust in the deity.  Many people who experience this will chalk it up to the deity being spiteful or dangerous.  But they are there to help you work through your darkest fears, your biggest challenges.  They are like drill sergeants preparing you for war, for the hard realities of life.  They are on your side, but they wont do the work for you.  Ultimately I trust the Morrigan.  Sometimes I don’t know were She is leading me, I may face the challenge willingly or go kicking and screaming, but there is trust between us.  Because there is a long standing, deep relationship there.

  Another aspect to the challenges many of us have with dark deities, and really working with any deity, is that we don’t really treat them as if they are real.  And If we don’t treat them as real, there is no way for us to build that Trust with them or a deep meaningful relationship.  Witchcraft as a craft /practice/magickal system when you really boil it down to the nuts and bolts is excellent at teaching us a magickal system, correspondences, and how to do ritual.  But to some extent the Gods are an after thought.  Put ten Pagans in a room and there is a pretty good chances every one of them will know how to cast a circle, call the quarters and do ritual basics, whether or not its there particular tradition or flavor of Paganism.  How we approach the Gods and relate to them tend to be where we divert in thought and practice from one another.  For myself after I started practicing Witchcraft the Gods just kind of stepped in and took over, my devotion has always been a vital part of my spirituality.  But not everyone has that experiences, and for many the gods are sock puppets.  They aren't always treated with the proper respect in ritual, and sadly in some rituals I’ve been a part of I don’t really think the person invoking them expects the Gods to actually show up. And when they do it can get quite interesting.

   At one festival I attended there was a ritual that call on the Baron Samedi.  As part of the ritual drama his hat was knocked off (let me just say a bad idea right there) and at the end of the ritual there were no offerings given or any kind of thanks.  Later that night, myself and several other people had odd things happen to them.  Someone or something knocked on our cabin door in the middle of the night.  When we opened it, no one was there, and there was really no where for anyone to hide.  And it kept happening several times.  A friend thought she saw the Baron walking through the woods near her camp, and others felt a sense of unease. As Edward Rickey would say:

 “We must deal with them as real, if we expect them to treat us and our needs as real. Reciprocity, bitches" 

No matter what we think the Gods are or aren't they are real beings with personalities, likes and dislikes, and a sense of humor.  At least that has been my experience.  The Baron I doubt cared if everyone there though he was real or no.  They called him, so he showed up and started kicking up some dirt because proper respect and protocols were not upheld. 

   I think this is true with other deities.  We call of the dark gods and forget to treat them as real beings, who can really do things.  And we feel stuck or unprepared when things actually start to happen.  Building respect and trust with a deity is a long process.  Its like any other relationship we have, it builds over time and needs to be fed to flourish.  I do see a shift in Paganism where we are becoming more centered on the Gods.  There are more events focuses specifically on deity, and more people speaking about their devotion.  And I hope that continues.

   Working and building a devotion to dark deities can be a rewarding process, and an utterly life changing one.  If you feel called to dark and dangerous gods, don’t be afraid to embrace the path, challenge what you think you know, and how you practice.  Follow the gods into the dark and be transformed.  You may cry and scream and rage along the way, but you’ll never feel more alive and your life will transform for the better. 

are the gods dangerous?

Dangerous Gods

    I taught about Badb and omens someone asked a question I get quite a lot in regards to the Morrigan.  some one asked “Do you think the gods are dangerous?”  On one level I’m glad the conversation has moved past ‘Is the Morrigan dangerous?’ to us thinking about the nature of the gods in general.  But it is something that comes up a lot when we are talking about dark deities or ones we perceive to be.

   So are the gods dangerous?  Well the short answer is, yes.  And well when you get down to it, isn’t living dangerous too? Taking the subway or getting in your car can be dangerous too. But it’s a kind of a risk or danger that you accept.  Working with dark and dangerous gods is kind of like that.  Life is not without risks, anymore than magick or working with the gods.  I’ll get to my own definition of “dangerous” in a moment, but first let’s look one or two rungs down the spiritual hierarchical chain of beings.   Consider what any good teacher will tell you about Faeries.  Or angels for that matter.  Caution is required.  The Sidhe can be beneficial or try to eat you.  No one has any qualms over calling the Sidhe dangerous, because well they can be at times.  But it also doesn’t negate that having a connection to them and working with them can be rewarding.  The danger is understood.   We understand that although many of the Sidhe have human like appearances they are inherently not human.  They are something other, and we can’t expect them to play by human rules of have human moralities.  Likewise with angels there is an understanding that they are not human.  And if you have read the traditional descriptions of angels (they resemble fat little winged babies about as much as the Sidhe resemble Tinkerbelle) you’ll find they can be quite scary, and they rain down the wrath of god quiet often.  But again we have an easier time accepting the danger, and the understanding that some are beneficial and others we may have to be warry about or take certain precautions.

   To some extent the logic we apply to these beings we also must apply to the gods.  No matter how human they appear or what form they take, the gods are powers so vast and unknowable that our little human minds can’t really completely comprehend them.  They created stars and planets, created us and all the beings be share this planet with.  I do think the gods care about us and aspects of our lives, but at the same time I think they also have their own agendas and have a must vaster picture in mind.  We can’t apply human expectations on them, or moralities.  We want them to be human, but they are not.  That is not to say they are not a part of us, and I feel we are a part of them.  There is a connection, and interaction between us, but that is not the same thing.  Just as the Sidhe and angels may appear human-like in appearance, yet by definition are something completely “other”.      

  So where does the danger apply?  Well we can’t see the gods as spiritual parents who never get mad at us.  Trust me, gods can and do get mad at people.  And usually you get the point pretty quick when it happens.  Not showing respect to the gods, treating them like spiritual vending machines when we want something, can have consequences.  Particularly depending on the god in question.  Asking them for help and not really wanting to do the work can be dangerous too. You can’t expect the gods to wave a wand and make everything better, you have to earn it.  They will help you, but you have to be willing to bleed a little sometimes.  For example when some people have described their work with the Morrigan they will often describe a whole lot of upheaval and crap happening when they asked Her to help them bring some kind of change into their lives.  The Morrigan will goad you, throw you off the deep end so to speak.  She will place things in your path until you have truly dealt with your demons.  It’s not to say She won’t help you, she will, but it isn’t in her nature to give you the easy way out.  Similarly a friend who works with Odin has said to me in the past that “If you give him an inch, he will take a mile”.  Knowing the gods you are working with, things they might find distasteful, knowing their personalities can all help when working with them.

  The next logical question is of course “Are they too dangerous to work with?” My answer to that is No.  But like working with the fay or other beings we must approach the work with some understand that there is a certain element of risk.  The gods will challenge you, make you stronger than you have ever been, but at the same time can completely rearrange your life, and sometime it can be exactly what we need.  But when we ask them for things we must realize risk is involved, we may have to let go of other things to achieve the things we want, to become the kind of person we wish to be. My relationship with and devotion to the Great Queen is deep, there is great love there, on both ends I think.  It’s a relationship that has built and grown over many years.   But I can’t see her as a spiritual mother who will wipe my ass either.  We have to let go of that image of the gods.  That image of God the Father way up in the clouds looking down benevolently on his children, doesn’t apply to my gods. And really doesn’t describe the old testament Yahweh either.    

  So yes gods can be dangerous, working with them has consequences and rewards.  The oaths we speak to them have consequences.  We must remember that these are vast and powerful beings, they are not human, not truly, no matter how close to humanity they are they are still something “other”. 

Offerings

  There has been quite a lot of heated debate on the internet concerning the appropriate types of offerings to give the Morrigan.  And whether or not bullets are a legitimate one.  What I think about all those discussions boils down to two main points.  Firstly that offerings in general are a very personal thing.  The context in which an offering is made is important. And the type of offering reflects on the relationship between the devotee and the deity in question.  Secondly it begs the question: What exactly is an offering? And this is what interests me the most.  Because it’s not something often discussed in Paganism, and to be honest I find that not many Pagans necessarily make offerings as a part of their daily or regular spiritual practice.

   So what exactly is an offering? Why do we do it? Are we bribing the gods? Putting a quarter in the celestial vending machine, hoping to get the prize we want?

   Questioning whether or not an offering is appropriate to a deity requires us to consider why we are leaving that offering in the first place.  For myself it boils down to reciprocity.  I offer the gods something out of respect, love and devotion, and they offer at times something in return.  What is a small thing to a god can be something that makes a big impact in my life.  Leaving offerings helps build a connection to deity, it is something that is a regular part of my devotion to the gods I work with. 

   The spirit in which you offer something is immensely important. We are not bribing or bartering with the gods, and sadly I think this is the approach a lot of people take.  If I offer the right stone or herbs then I have essentially “bought” or bribed the gods into giving me the thing I asked for.  If a person approaches making offerings in this manner, then I’m really not surprised when the gods don’t fulfill their request.  No matter what I am offering I approach the process with love and gratitude in my heart.  Even if I have nothing more than a cup of water to offer the gods, it is the spirit in which I offer it, the devotion I imbue it with that matters the most.

   I also spend a lot of time thinking about what to offer to deity. Things that are a part of a deity’s myths, or have been historically offered to them are always good places to start.  Also if a god finds something repugnant in their myths then maybe that’s not the best thing to offer them.  For example there are specific things that certain Orisha, either via myth or tradition, should never be offered.   And lastly the offering has to have some kind of meaning to the person giving it.  On occasions I offer herbs or incense, but it worries me that these have become the fall back offerings to many people simply because they see someone else using them, and because they really aren’t thinking about why they are choosing to offer that particular item in the first place.  At a festival a few years ago I attended a ritual where those present were asked to throw an offering into a fire for the gods.  The ritual revolved around cleansing and bringing change.  A friend who was there had asked the gods to help her with something that was very important in her life.  We had known about the ritual in advance and she had brought something very special to her, and item her deceased father had given her, to offer to the fire.  The offering fit with the thing she was asking the gods for, and all was well until she noticed the items other people were throwing into the fire.  She whispered to me that she felt silly offering something so grand and so very different that those tossing handfuls of herbs and sticks of incense into the fire.  She actually felt embarrassed to offer what I felt was a beautiful gift to the gods.  A true sacrifice. Something that could not be replaced.  Eventually she did go up to the fire and make her offering.  And the gods answered her plea not long after.

   My point is that there should be some thought that goes into offerings, and that by their very nature offerings will differ from devotee to devotee.  What has value to each person and what the gods want from each of us will be different.  And it should be.  The Morrigan has many devotees. One may be a single mother, another a police officer, a soldier, a teacher, a Wiccan, a Reconstructionist, a Druid, a conservative, or a radical, the list goes on.  All of these people may have a dedication to the Morrigan but each will more than likely offer her different things.  And guess what.  That’s how it should be.  There are some things that people offer the Queen that I never would, and it really doesn’t offend or hurt me that they do so.  If it works for their practice and reflects their connection with Her, awesome.  I’ll honor Her in my way, and others in their own way.  All that really matters to me is that they are honoring Her. That they are approaching Her with devotion.  The problem with people getting riled up over someone offering something they personally wouldn’t give to a deity or personally find repugnant, comes down to confusing taste for morality.  Just because I don’t like something, or something doesn’t work well for me, doesn’t negate the fact that it could hold an entirely different meaning for someone else.

   So that brings me to what do I personally offer the Morrigan. Me personally. Not what you should offer.  What works for me.  Well surprisingly 98% of the time I offer Her blood or an act of bravery.  Offerings don’t have to be physical things.  One of my first teachers told me “Do something today, that you were afraid of doing yesterday. ”   Given the Morrigan’s connection to strife, battle and sovereignty, I find this to be a worthy offering.  Facing my fears, having the bravery to stand up for another person, these are all things I think She values more than any physical item I can offer to Her. 

   As to the drama on the internet, yes I have knifs  on my later  I  know lots  that have a few bullets on them .   offering bowls for blood, swords, spears, a drum, my  skull necklase and multiple statues.  Bullets are not what I offer, but it’s something I have felt called by Her to leave on Her altar.  Because my altar to Her is a reflection of all Her aspects, not just the ones I like the best.   And because she is still a goddess of war.  Not iron age war, or just war that involves swords.  She reminds us what is worth fighting for.  What do we love enough to lay down our lives for?  When humanity stops asking ourselves those questions, maybe she will cease being a war goddess.  But I don’t think that will happen anytime soon, or ever really.

 

   For myself personally a bullet doesn’t represent violence.  If they do to you, then I suggest you find other things that have meaning to you to offer Her.  For myself bullets and guns are just tools, just as swords are simply tools.  The violence we connect with them originates in the person holding the tool, not the tool itself.  The swords that we romanticize has no other purpose than to kill, specifically to kill other humans.  At very least the argument can be made that spears and guns have been used for hunting. But not the sword. So the next time you pick up your ritual sword, reminded that while other weapons have replaced it over the years, it is still a weapon meant for killing.  A weapon the Celts ritually broke and offered to the gods.  That LOTR replica sword (not knocking anyone here I have a few!) may be beautiful to look at, but it doesn’t change what it is.  So in that fashion having bullets on Her altar does not bother me.  Like a sword, a gun can be used in self defense, and for myself it represents the idea that I have the right to defend myself.  I have two friends who owe their lives to having concealed carry permits.  One prevented a car jacking.  In the other case it saved a friend from being raped. We both went to college together and she had one of those so called “gun nut” fathers.  We joked with her about how he insisted she get a concealed carry permit and bought her a small gun to have with her when she walked to her car late at night from her bartending job.  And one night a man tried to assault her and force her into his car.  Luckily she was able to scare him off long enough to call the cops.  If she hadn’t had a gun at very least she would have been raped, and more than likely she would have ended up losing her life.  Similarly I know one military devotee who leaves bullets on his altar before deployment, asking for protection and that he may do his job without having to take a life. 

  As I said before I truly think the gods care more about the manner in which we give an offering than what the physical item is.

   This is not the first time devotees of the Morrigan have gotten heated over what other people choose to offer to the Queen.  What troubles me is that we have trouble respecting that what one person does in their practice can be different than our own.  What is repugnant to you may hold a different meaning to me.  Let the gods decide what is to their liking and what is not.  Offer what you are personally called to offer, and respect what others give in their devotion.

   Lastly what concerns me is this idea that the Morrigan’s connection to war does not apply to modern times, but instead to only the romanticized war of the past.  The Morrigan has many guises, she is far from just a goddess of war.  But war remains a part of her nature. She is not a tame lion.  She did not retire from the war goddess business once swords stopped being the high tech weapon of the day.   In some ways I see a shift in her approach.  As I said, she reminds us what is worth fighting  for.  That can apply to a personal battle or a literal battle.  And today I find she is very concerned with claiming personal sovereignty and goading us into facing our personal demons.  But that makes her no less a goddess of war. To pretend she is otherwise, simply because we find modern warfare distasteful, is to deny a vital part of Her being. Morgan Daimler puts it quite succinctly:

 

"You know when my dad came back from Vietnam, when he got off the plane, people in the airport spit on him. This makes me think of that. We are spitting on our war gods because we are mistaking them for the gory collateral damage of war that we abhor. But they are not that. They are the spirit to fight and win and defend the things that matter. They are the spirit of battle that makes anything in life worth fighting for. And I think its dangerous to forget that, and very dangerous to disrespect  them. They protect us, and we need them, just as we need soldiers whether we want to admit it or not."

 

   When someone offers something to a deity, respect that it’s a personal choice.  It is part of their devotion to deity, not yours.  And may we remember to respect that gods may represent things we are uncomfortable with, and that to turn a blind eye to part of their nature is dangerous.  When you make offerings to the gods think about why you are offering a particular item.  What meaning does it hold for you? What connection does it have to the god you are giving it to?  Find what works for you, not just what works for other people.  Because you are the one making the offering, not anyone else.

Battle field devotion

Battle field Devotions

    I’ve lived in Many places in Canad. The land has a particular feel to it.   The land has deep roots, roots that dig down into the heart of the hills and mountains that make up the land.  Its bones are the stones that litter the soil and make up the hight of places like the Rocky Mountians and the boulders that I’ve enjoyed hiking up to and dangling my legs over at the hight of the waterfalls. 

   So what does all that have to do with battlefields?  Well besides spending time hiking and visiting the wild places , I also spent a lot of time learning the history of this place.  And the more I learned the more I discovered there were quite a lot of battles fought on this soil I was learning to connect with.  And myself being devoted to a war goddess, we started to get an idea.

    For those dedicated to the Morrigan we talk about battle a great deal. We talk about them in rituals, perhaps reenact our imaginings of the battles of myths in ritual drama, and spend time conceptualizing what warriorship means in a modern context.  And I will be the first to say there are about as many opinions on what warriorship, battle and being devoted to a goddess connected to battle mean (or ought to mean) as there are Morrigan devotees.  We tend to fight about it a lot. Go figure.  For some its more about the battles they face in life, not a physical battlefield but one just as brutal.  For others they find a connection in SCA, or other historial reinactments in learning practical self-defense as a devotional act.  I practiced Artchery and swrod play,   All of which have been personal and meaningful acts of devotion.  My altar has swords beside it, and from my own weapon, on the altar.  Modern war and old, side by side.  And battlefields less easier to conceptualize captured in my words written in journals that sit on the shelves below the altar detailing personal battles and growth over the years.       

   I have said before that in an attempt to make the Morrigan more palatable we have forgotten that she is a goddess of war. We have “declawed” our war gods to make them more palatable to our modern morals and tastes. But I wonder, when we do see her as the unabashed war goddess, what do we see? Do we see only the battle itself? The anger, fear, chaos of battle? Do we only think of the height of battle, the conflict and the struggle of it? Whether it is our own battles in life or physical ones? Have we forgotten also there is more to battle than the actual act of conflict.  There is a before and an after. There are the reasons that we set out for war, and there is the peace or the destruction that comes after.  If the Morrigan is a goddess of battle, war, and strife in all its contexts then it is not just the battle fervor that she rules over. She rules of the peace as well. The aftermath of the battlefield, the destruction that leaves room for new things, and the peace that comes after.  In mythology she both instigates battles, spurs them on, and it is the Morrigan who also announces the peace, as we see in the well known prophesy she speaks after the second battle of Moytura.

    The more I learned about the battles fought on the land I was become acquainted with the more I felt there was something important to be done.  I decided I wanted something real, not a pretend battlefield, not a game. I wanted to honor the land and what had happened there.  I also wanted to remember why we fight, and not just get caught up in the actual struggles of the battle itself.  War, battle, strife, isn’t just about the crisis point.  In these places that we began visiting the battles were long over.  The bodies buried, the blood long ago soaked into the land.  We fight for the peace that comes after.  It felt important to honor these places.  The people who died there. On both sides.  Because I stood years and years after, on the ghosts of these battlefield in that peace.  It felt important to remember.  We honor the battlefield.  We pour offerings to the mighty dead, pour offerings to the Great Queen.  We honor the battlefield, we honor the peace, and we recognize what it costs. 

  The following comes in part from the Morrigan’s Peace Prophesy with our own words for honoring the dead and the battlefield.

Síth co nem.

Nem co doman.

Doman fo nim,

Sky to earth.

Earth below sky,

Strength in each one,

A cup overfull, filled with honey,

Sufficiency of renown

Morrigan you who see all

Who are born in the blood-zealous vigorous battle,

Hear us we speak to the blood soaked earth

We speak to the battlefield

We speak to the fallen friend and foe alike

The land remembers and we remember

The clashing of wills

The hosts giving battle

The strife of men

May the dead be honored

May there be peace

Peace as high as the skies

Summer in winter,

Spears supported by warriors

Warriors supported by forts

Strong leaders

Justice when asked for

Banished are sad out cries

Peace as high as the skies

Sky to earth, strength in everyone

Both the living and the honored dead

Macha whose harvest is upon the battlefield may there be peace

Badb who washes the sorrows of the dead and spurs on the battle, may there be peace

Anu whose sacred land receives the bodies of the dead may there be peace

Great Queen may we remember why we sharpen our swords.

That we fight for the peace that comes after strife

And may we remember that peace has a price

And may we honor that price now in this place

Great Queen, Honored dead, accept our offerings.